Ephesians 5:25

I don’t want this to become some mushy gushy oh my gosh I love my fiancé blog post. I mean I do love him, but I want to focus more on the Christ filled portion of our relationship. It’s important for both of us to love God first, then each other our family and friends. We met at church, we got to know each other at church, and we fell in love all in the church. So for the both of us, it’s important to go to church and to pray and to be involved in our church.

For the past three years Danny and I have gotten the pleasure to work with the Saint Peter’s Life Teen and to get to know some pretty awesome teens and adults. We learned so much as adults watching the love of these teens in their lives and their communities, as well as the way our fellow adults live their lives and lives with their spouses. They have been great role models to us.

As it says in Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Christ so loved the church, and he loved us so much that he gave up his live for us, and for her, the church. Although this verse specifies husbands, it’s true the other way around. Wives should love their husbands just as Jesus loved the church. We see this in marriages throughout our church and they have been the best role models, and Ephesians 5:25 has been the best advice we have gotten so far in the marriage process. I plan on loving Danny just as much as he loves me, just as Christ loved the church.

I think that’s what’s missing in today’s relationships, whether they are married couples, engaged couples, or dating relationships. I read this article today that said 15 ways to make your relationship/marriage last longer. It said stuff like trust your husband/wife, do your own thing, laugh, etc. But there were a few that bothered me, and comments that bothered me even more…For example, one said to boost your husband/wife. Compliment them when you can, so they know they are appreciated. It isn’t the advice that bothers me; it was the comments I read after that piece of advice. They said comments like “well if I boost them, I’d be lying.” Now how can you be in a marriage, let alone a relationship if you can’t find one single nice thing to compliment your spouse on in a single day? If you cannot tell your friends something nice that your husband/wife did how can you be in a good faith relationship? Something simple, such as I really appreciate when he does the dishes for me. It allows me to relax after a long day at work/home/school/whatever the case may be. That one comment to a friend that he may overhear can boost his attitude and confidence and love for you because he knows you appreciate him and what he does for you. Love your husband/wife just as much as Christ loved the church. Show him you appreciate him. Show him you love him. And love him with all your heart.

Another piece of advice in that column was about entering a marriage with the thought of divorce in the back of your head. In a society where there is a 50% divorce rate, I cannot help but think people go into marriages saying well if he does such and such I’m going to divorce him, there will be someone else for me. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes divorce is absolutely necessary, but not at a 50% rate. You must go into your marriage even a relationship with all that you have. Don’t play around, don’t say “what if” and most importantly don’t go in saying well if this doesn’t work out there will be someone better. Who says that if they are truly in love? How can you love your spouse with the love Jesus had for the church if you are in the back of your head thinking there are other options. I can’t pretend I have marriage experience because I don’t. I still have 340 some days to go until I am a wife. But from seeing comments and posts like the article I read earlier, I am confident that I will enter my marriage totally committed to Danny, and love him as much as Jesus loved the Church. I want Christ and the church to be a constant in our marriage just as much, if not more than it was in our dating relationship. I know our lives will not be perfect, and we will have fights, but if we can always have God in our lives, I know that everything will be okay.

God Bless!

Lyndsey